101+ plant puns

Aloe there! Welcome to my page of plant puns. Here are my favorite gardening wordplay jokes and other plant-based pun-iness.

Gardening puns

  • Botany plants lately?
  • I beg your garden!?
  • Someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
  • I’m sexy and I grow it.
  • Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
  • I’m very frond of you.
  • I wet my plants.
  • Scarecrows are always garden their patch.
  • Ok, bloomer.
  • She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
  • I feel sorry for wheelbarrows. They’re always getting pushed around.
  • My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I’m not sure what it stems from but I’m stuck with it.
  • I killed a hundred weeds today! No, you only killed 98 weeds. Geez, sorry, I round-up.
  • Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
  • Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
  • Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
  • Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
  • I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
  • Walking barefoot is good for the sole.
  • My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
  • So fresh and so green (green).

Houseplant puns

  • I’m rooting for you!
  • I’ll never leaf you.
  • Leaf me alone.
  • You grow girl!
  • Pot it like it’s hot.
  • Wood you be mine?
  • You’re unbeleafable.
  • Let me plant one on ya!
  • Support plant parenthood.
  • Let’s take a leaf of faith.
  • Plant a kiss on me.
Don't kale my vibe

Herb garden puns

  • Do you need some encourage-mint?
  • It’s party thyme.
  • Good chives only.
  • I’m kind of a big dill.
  • Thistle be the best day ever.
  • Chive never met anyone quite like you.
  • I hate when bay leaves.
  • Chive loved you for so long.
  • We’re mint to be.
  • Long thyme no see.
Good chives only

Plant puns that start with a question

  • What do you call an everyday potato? A commen-tater.
  • How much room should you give fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
  • How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
  • What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
  • Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.
  • What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
  • Why did the lettuce close its eyes? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  • Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  • When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
  • What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? You’re one in a melon
  • Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
  • Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner? Because he couldn’t find a date.
  • How are you doing zucchini? I’m vine, thanks for asking.
  • What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybee.
  • Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
  • What did one plant say to another? What’s ta-ma-ta?
  • How do trees get online? They just log in.

Fruit & vegetable puns

  • Fennel I see you again?
  • You make my heart skip a beet.
  • I got arrested at the Farmers Market. I was disturbing the peas.
  • I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
  • Everyone romaine calm.
  • It’s a little bit rad, but not totally rad. It’s only rad-ish.
  • Speak now or forever hold your peas.
  • Can you pick up the groceries? I haven’t botany.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • The raisin wined about how he couldn’t achieve grapeness.
  • Don’t kale my vibe.
  • If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
  • Lettuce do our best.
  • Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.
  • Oh my gourd, that is funny.
Pot it like it’s hot

Succulent puns

Plant pun - aloe there

Cactus puns

  • You’re looking sharp.
  • Pretty fly for a cacti.
  • I’m glad I pricked you.
  • Hope your birthday is on point.
  • You prickle my fancy.
  • I’m ready to take it from “cacti” to “cactus.”
  • I’ll never desert you.
  • You’re stuck with me.
  • Cactus makes perfect.
  • I’m so glad we pricked each other.
  • We make a prickly pear.
  • Let’s stick together.

And because plant puns are way more fun when you actually say them out loud (and because I’m a crazy plant lady), I threw a few ridiculous plant puns into one of my YouTube videos too:

Garden pest puns

  • I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
  • You know what really bugs me? Insect puns.
  • Did you hear about the squirrel diet? It’s nuts!
  • Schwarzenegger retired from TV to kill bugs. Now he’s an ex-terminator.

Farming puns

  • A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
  • I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.
  • Our farm is haunted by chickens. You could say that we have a poultry-geist problem.
  • I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
  • Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears.
  • A chicken farmer’s favourite car is a coupe.
  • The farmer had such a bad headache he had to retire. He was sick of his grains.
  • The scarecrow get promoted. He was outstanding in his field.
  • I put up an electric fence around my field last weekend. My neighbor is dead against it.
House plant pun - houseplants are my best fronds

Spring puns

  • Thank goodness spring is finally here! The trees are re-leaved.
  • Can February March? No, but April May.
  • What do you mean June is over? Julying.
Plant puns - summertime

Halloween pumpkin puns

  • Let’s give them pumpkin’ to talk about.
  • “Cut it out!” said the Jack-o-Lantern.
  • My Jack-o-Lantern is wider than yours. It’s as simple as pumpkin pi.
  • I’m always smiling, but inside I feel hollow.
  • Scarecrows are always out garden their patch.

See more Fall Puns here.

Scarecrows are always out garden their patch

Thank you everyone for sharing these hilarious plant jokes! When I started writing this page I thought we would collect a solid 15 plant puns on it. Now there are 105 plant puns here. Let the bad puns keep rolling on in…

Tweet @home4theharvest!

PS: I’m still working on figuring X out…

***hugs and kisses***

Come on…have a little pun!

Mary Jane Duford
Mary Jane Duford

Mary Jane Duford is a quintessential Canadian gardener. An engineer by trade, she tends to an ever-expanding collection of plants. In her world, laughter blooms as freely as her flowers, and every plant is raised with a dash of Canadian grit.

Mary Jane is a certified Master Gardener and also holds a Permaculture Design Certificate. She's also a proud mom of three, teaching her little sprouts the crucial difference between a garden friend and foe.

When she's not playing in the dirt, Mary Jane revels in her love for Taylor Swift, Gilmore Girls, ice hockey, and the surprisingly soothing sounds of bluegrass covers of classic hip-hop songs. She invites you to join her garden party, a place where you can share in the joy of growing and where every day is a new opportunity to find the perfect spot for yet another plant.

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