101 Plant Puns For Us Crazy Plant Ladies

Aloe there! Welcome to my page of plant puns. Here are my favorite gardening wordplay jokes and other plant-based pun-iness.

Gardening Puns

  • Have you botany plants lately? (fave happy t-shirt)
  • Someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
  • I wet my plants. (as written on one of these adorable planter pots)
  • Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
  • I’m sexy and I grow it.
  • Scarecrows are always garden their patch.
  • I’ve soiled myself.
  • Ok, bloomer. (ridiculously cute pin)
  • She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
  • I feel sorry for wheelbarrows. They’re always getting pushed around.
  • My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I’m not sure what it stems from but I’m stuck with it.
  • I killed a hundred weeds today! No, you only killed 98 weeds. Geez, sorry, I round-up.
  • Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
  • Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
  • Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
  • Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
  • I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
  • I saw a sign that said falling rocks. I tried and it doesn’t.
  • Walking barefoot is good for the sole.
  • My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
  • So fresh and so green (green).

Houseplant Puns

Follow me in the LIKEtoKNOW.it app, where I share my favorite crazy plant lady must-haves.

Don't Kale My Vibe

Herb Garden Puns

  • Do you need some encourage-mint?
  • It’s party thyme. (on this houseplant birthday card)
  • I’m kind of a big dill.
  • Thistle be the best day ever.
  • Chive never met anyone quite like you.
  • I hate when bay leaves.
  • Chive loved you for so long.
  • We’re mint to be.
  • Long thyme no see.
  • Good chives only. (on this herb planter pot)
Good Chives Only

Plant Puns That Start With a Question

  • What do you call an everyday potato? A commen-tater.
  • How much room should you give fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
  • How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
  • What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
  • Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.
  • What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
  • Why did the lettuce close its eyes? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  • Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  • When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
  • What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? You’re one in a melon
  • Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
  • Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner? Because he couldn’t find a date.
  • How are you doing zucchini? I’m vine, thanks for asking.
  • What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybee.
  • Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
  • What did one plant say to another? What’s ta-ma-ta?
  • How do trees get online? They just log in.

Fruit & Vegetable Puns

  • Can you pick up the groceries? I haven’t botany.
  • You make my heart skip a beet.
  • I got arrested at the Farmers Market. I was disturbing the peas.
  • I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
  • Everyone romaine calm.
  • It’s a little bit rad, but not totally rad. It’s only rad-ish.
  • Speak now or forever hold your peas.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • The raisin wined about how he couldn’t achieve grapeness.
  • Don’t kale my vibe.
  • If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
  • Lettuce do our best.
  • Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.
  • Fennel I see you again?
  • Oh my gourd, that is funny.
Pot it like it’s hot

Succulent Puns

  • I’m a succa for puns.
  • Aloe you vera much.
  • Not dead yet succa (from this cute little planter)
  • Succulents are plant-tastic.
  • Sup succa.
  • Life would succ without you.
  • Say aloe to my little friend.
plant pun - aloe there

Cactus Puns

  • You’re looking sharp.
  • I’m ready to take it from “cacti” to “cactus.”
  • I’m glad I pricked you.
  • Hope your birthday is on point.
  • Pretty fly for a cacti.
  • You prickle my fancy.
  • I’ll never desert you.
  • You’re stuck with me.
  • Cactus makes perfect.
  • I’m so glad we pricked each other.
  • We make a prickly pear.
  • Let’s stick together.

And because plant puns are way more fun when you actually say them out loud (and because I’m a crazy plant lady), I threw a few ridiculous plant puns one of my YouTube videos too:

Garden Pest Puns

  • I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
  • You know what really bugs me? Insect puns.
  • You hear about the squirrel diet? It’s nuts!
  • Schwarzenegger retired from TV to kill bugs. Now he’s an ex-terminator.

Farming Puns

  • A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
  • I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.
  • Our farm is haunted by chickens. You could say that we have a poultry-geist problem.
  • I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
  • Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears.
  • A chicken farmer’s favourite car is a coupe.
  • The farmer had such a bad headache he had to retire. He was sick of his grains.
  • The scarecrow get promoted. He was outstanding in his field.
  • I put up an electric fence around my field last weekend. My neighbour is dead against it.
House Plant Pun - Houseplants Are My Best Fronds

Spring Puns

  • Thank goodness spring is finally here! The trees are re-leaved.
  • Can February March? No, but April May.
  • What do you mean June is over? Julying.
Plant Puns - Summertime

Halloween Pumpkin Puns

  • Let’s give them pumpkin’ to talk about.
  • “Cut it out!” said the Jack-o-Lantern.
  • My Jack-o-Lantern is wider than yours. It’s as simple as pumpkin pi.
  • I’m always smiling, but inside I feel hollow.
  • Scarecrows are always out garden their patch.
Scarecrows are always out garden their patch

Thank you everyone for sharing these hilarious plant jokes! When I started writing this page I thought we would collect a solid 15 plant puns on it. Now there are 105 plant puns here. Let the bad puns keeping rolling on in….

Tweet @home4theharvest!

PS: I’m still working on figuring twitter out…

***hugs and kisses***

Come on…have a little pun!

Mary Jane Duford

Mary Jane is a home gardener who loves creating healthy, welcoming spaces (indoors and out!) - About Mary Jane (https://www.homefortheharvest.com/authors/about-mary-jane-duford/)

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